Bumblebee
by SydGillyKC
Summary: Sequel to "This Tear." It's now the middle of season three and Sydney is dealt a blow she doesn't know how to handle. This one's going to be a real rollercoaster lol.
1. Prologue

A/N: Ok, so here's a quick prologue for "Bumblebee," the sequel to "This Tear." It took me a while because I've been really struggling with stuff at school lately (and I was sick for weeks), but it's finally here. It's really dark, but I promise the whole story won't be this dark. It's kind of just something to set the atmosphere for you. The first chapter is pretty much finished, but I want to start the second one before I get the first one out so I get a jump on things so as not to make you guys have huge gaps of nothing lol. So here's the first bit, enjoy :)

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He had sworn to love her forever.

Things had been so wonderful after her recovery and reinstatement to the CIA. With SD-6 gone and her health back to normal, things had seemed truly amazing. She was finally free to be with Vaughn, a privilege they both took advantage of immensely. They'd both been given a second chance and the last thing they wanted to do was waste it. Not after all they'd been through. Their time together bordered on bliss and Sydney could never remember being so completely happy and satisfied with her life.

That's not to say that things were perfect. It was a life, of course, not a fairytale. Sloane had remained free despite their many attempts to track him down and bring him into custody. Emily's death had hit her particularly hard after having so recently reconnected with her. It was like losing a mother all over again. A couple of weeks following Sydney's recovery, Francie had become somewhat distant with her and she couldn't help but wonder if Francie was finally dealing with anger she may have stored up after finding out about Sydney's deception. Her mother's escape from custody had not been easy, leaving Sydney to wonder if her relationship with her mother had been built entirely upon lies. When Will, one of the few constants in her life, had been accused of murdering Diane and being the second double, Sydney began to feel lost again for the first time since her recovery.

But through everything, she had Vaughn.

He was her rock, her tether to sanity. Every time she felt like her life was spinning out of control and her happiness was slipping through her fingers, he was there to remind her of how much she had to be grateful for. Even after she doubted his loyalty when he was under investigation, he was the light at the end of the tunnel. It was after that horrible experience that she realized everything she ever needed in life was right in front of her. And after Will had been cleared, Vaughn had outdone himself once again by planning their weekend together in Santa Barbara. Even after all that had gone wrong lately, he was there to make everything better again. She had a feeling that this weekend together would be a true turning point in their relationship. They were already practically living together and had conquered those three little words long ago. If all went well, maybe it would now be time to move onto more serious things, to really start their life together. After all they'd been through in the last year, they certainly deserved a little happiness and normalcy for once in their lives. Sydney had a feeling she was finally about to get it.

And then she disappeared.

Just like that, she passed out in her bedroom and woke up in the middle of Hong Kong with no memory of anything in between. The time passed as if it were one night and part of her held the naive hope that that's all it had been. She could almost convince herself it was possible, until she noticed the scar. And suddenly, she felt it all over again. She felt her sanity coming undone, her hope for happiness slipping through her fingers. But like always, he was there. In an instant, she was in his arms. She could already feel herself begin to heal. Whatever he was going to tell her, she knew it would be all right. She had him, that was all that mattered. He was all she needed.

She saw the ring.

That's what sent her life spinning out of control all over again. And then he dropped the next bombshell. Two years. She'd been gone for two years. Presumed dead. The whole world, everyone in her life, had moved on without her. What had been one night to her had been two years for everyone else. She couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it was true. So she convinced herself of the only other thing she could: that the person in front of her wasn't really Vaughn. Vaughn would never do this to her. If two years truly had passed, he would've waited for her. He hadn't moved on when he thought she was going to die of cancer and he wouldn't have moved on now.

She ran.

She fought and she ran away from everything. Maybe if she ran far enough, fast enough, the truth would never catch up to her. She knew she was being irrational, but everything was spinning upside down. She didn't know what else to do. But, like always, he caught up to her. The dart hit her shoulder and she knew before she even turned around that it was him. But it couldn't really be. He wouldn't betray her like this, she couldn't believe it. She begged him to stay away as she sank to the ground. But before she hit the concrete, he caught her. He held her in his arms with the same tenderness she'd sought comfort in countless times before. As she faded into the darkness, she realized she'd been wrong. It was Vaughn. He'd gone on without her. She'd expected as much from him when she believed cancer was going to claim her life, but now, after all they'd overcome, it seemed impossible... that she'd simply wake up one day and he'd no longer be hers.

She woke up in Los Angeles where Dixon confirmed her worst fears: that everything was true. And then everything happened as if it were a dream: seeing her father in prison, running away in Paris, getting her father back, watching that video, moving into her new apartment, seeing Vaughn, having him return to the agency, meeting his wife, everything. Nothing seemed real anymore. Things with Vaughn had been awkward and strained at best until she stabbed him. Oddly, that seemed to be the one thing that helped them start to get over their issues and act like normal people around each other again. It was still awkward and they were nowhere near the comfort level that they used to be with each other, even before her diagnosis, but things were improving. When she weaved the dance-floor to find Lang and Vaughn joked to her through her earpiece, she could almost convince herself that this nightmare had never happened. And then she saw Allison Dorren and once again, felt her world turn upside down.

The truth was, she was lonely. For the first time in more years than she could remember, she was truly alone. Her closest friends were gone, her boyfriend was married to someone else, she had no one. Weiss was a comfort and she loved him for all that he did for her, but it wasn't the same. It would never the same, and she was well aware of that. Her apartment overwhelmed her and no matter what she did, it never felt like home. She always felt like a stranger when she stepped inside. The nights were the worst. She didn't sleep much anymore. Some nights she would force herself to stay awake, the fear of waking up in another strange place with no memory of the last two years consuming her. She knew it was irrational and perhaps a little crazy, but she couldn't stop it. The nights when she did force herself to sleep, there were nightmares. Only recently had they started to center around her missing time. Before, they were always of her past. She dreamt of movie nights with Will and Francie or being wrapped in Vaughn's arms as they talked late into the night. And always, they would disappear like sand in the wind. And she would find herself standing alone... in nothingness. She would start to tremble and scream their names, but nothing ever happened. And then she'd wake up. The tears would greet her then, and she'd cry herself to sleep again. She knew, eventually, she'd have to see a doctor and get sleeping pills. Otherwise, her work would begin to suffer, but she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet.

In her life, she'd overcome more obstacles than a woman could even imagine facing. She'd overcome the "death" of her mother and estrangement of her father when she was only a child. She'd coped with the stress and hardships of being recruited to SD-6 and had advanced in training faster than any agent before her. She'd managed to heal and fight back after Danny's death. She'd somehow recovered after murdering Noah. She'd gathered enough strength to face her mother again after more than twenty years, years that had, unbeknownst to her, been filled with lies and betrayal. She'd battled a cancerous brain tumor and, thanks to Rambaldi's fluid, had beaten it. Yet, even after all she'd overcome in the past, she couldn't seem to handle what was happening to her now. She couldn't manage to get past the fact that her whole life had been pulled out from under her and given back only in fragments.

And so, there were cold, horrible moments in those endless nights where she lay awake and had such dark thoughts that they frightened even her. Sometimes she longed for the suffering to end. Not that she contemplated killing herself... she knew she could never bring herself to do that. But in those darkest moments, in her most depressed state- the very state Vaughn had once told her to call him when she reached- she couldn't help but wish something she couldn't have imagined even thinking two years ago.

She wished the cancer had killed her.


	2. Shades of Gray

Title: Bumblebee

Author: SydGillyKC

A/N: Okay, first real chapter. God, I feel like I've traveled back in time. I spent so much time working on "This Tear" that I forgot what it felt like to be at the very beginning of a story lol. So hopefully I won't disappoint. I've also started school again, so that may tie me up from time to time. But I'll try to update as much as possible, I promise. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as "This Tear." And remember, this takes the "This Tear" timeline into account and goes up until "Nemesis" (3x06) and then goes AU.

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Chapter 1: Shades of Gray

"You planning on sharing that?" Sydney asked, gesturing to the bowl of popcorn Weiss was currently devouring.

Weiss looked at her as if snapped from a daze. "Yeah, sure. I just didn't think you wanted to threaten that trim figure of yours by eating something that wasn't fat-free," he teased her, passing the bowl. She stretched out and kicked him from across the couch. He glared at her overdramatically and rubbed his knee.

"You just wanted to hog it," she argued.

"Not true. It wasn't easy to lose all that weight you know. I only indulge when you're around," he replied.

"And why is that?"

"Because I hope it'll encourage you to do the same. You're getting too skinny," Weiss told her in a light tone. Sydney could easily tell that there was truth behind his teasing, though. She knew better than anyone that she had been dropping weight since her return. Now of all times, though, was not when she wanted to get into it.

"Yeah well you're not helping by eating all the popcorn yourself," she teased.

"Oh, just eat up and be quiet, woman. I'm trying to watch the game," he teased back, obviously sensing that Sydney was not in the mood to get into a deep discussion.

"Since when are you a Red Sox fan?" Sydney questioned, gesturing to the television in front of them.

"Since forever. I went to a couple of games as a kid. I still catch them on TV when I can. When it's a Yankees series, though, I always try to make the time to watch."

"Why depress yourself like this? Hasn't it been like a hundred years since they've won a World Series?"

"Every curse has to lift eventually. This is their year, I feel it," Weiss said defensively. Sydney rolled her eyes and returned her focus to the television.

"Well, they're getting nowhere fast," Sydney pointed out, noticing that the Sox were now losing by two runs in the bottom of the ninth.

"Have a little faith. Damon's on base and they still got Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz due up." He laughed suddenly. "You should've seen it. I took Mike to a Sox game when they played here in Anaheim a couple of weeks after he came back-" he stopped abruptly, realizing what he'd just said. Sydney's expression suddenly darkened, understanding what he meant. Weiss sighed. "Sorry, Syd. I wasn't thinking."

"No, Eric, don't be sorry. You can't pretend the last two years didn't happen for my sake," Sydney assured him. They suddenly fell silent, the only sound in the room coming from the TV set in front of them. "I didn't know Vaughn was a Red Sox fan," Sydney said suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, well, he's more of a Mets fan, but he likes the Sox too," Weiss replied.

Sydney took a deep breath and released it as a sigh. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

She paused, looking down at the floor. "You told me that he disappeared for six months. And when I spoke to him, he told me that he had loved me so much that it nearly killed him… Do you think it would've been easier for him if the Rambaldi solution had failed?"

"Syd," Weiss said softly. She looked him in the eye, as if to say that she could handle his answer. He sighed. "Honestly… I think it may have been easier at first, because he'd had so much time to prepare himself and he'd had a chance to get some closure and say goodbye. I mean, after you went into remission, he thought that it was your chance to spend your lives together. He'd come so close to losing you that it didn't seem possible that you'd get better only to be killed in a fire several months later. It crushed him. He didn't know how to cope with it. On the other hand, I know for a fact that if you asked him, he would tell you that having you back in his life was worth all the suffering he went through." Sydney looked at him disbelievingly. "Really, Syd," Weiss assured her. "He still cares for you, that could never change. Things will get better, you just have to be patient and have a little faith. These things just take time."

The television suddenly erupted in cheering. Sydney and Weiss, caught off-guard, immediately turned to see what was happening.

"And Manny Ramirez makes a three-run home run to win the game!" The announcer's voice boomed over the crowd.

"Whew! You see that?!" Weiss yelled excitedly.

"I saw it," Sydney replied, smiling. He turned to her.

"You see, Syd, it's just like the Red Sox. Time and faith, that's all you need."

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Vaughn watched her from across the rotunda. He studied her carefully, taking in her neat ponytail and pressed suit. To the outside world, she was absolutely flawless. Vaughn was hardly the outside world when it came to Sydney, though. He could see that she'd used extra make-up today to cover up her paleness as well as the circles under her eyes. She worked hard to appear prepared and ready to go, but Vaughn clearly saw the exhaustion in her demeanor. And no matter how much she tried to hide it, he knew she was losing weight again. It had been nearly two months since her return and it appeared to everyone that she was slowly getting reacquainted with the world. Vaughn saw through her, though. He knew that on the inside, she was a mess. And it killed him to know that there was almost nothing he could do about it.

He watched as Weiss walked up to her then. He asked her something, causing her to look up from the file she was reading. He talked for a moment and he saw Sydney smiling at him. The sight was a relief to Vaughn, but he couldn't help the jealousy that bubbled inside of him. Vaughn was grateful to his friend for being there for Sydney when he couldn't be, but that didn't stop him from wishing she would smile like that for him again.

Quickly glancing down at his watch, he saw they had a little under ten minutes before their briefing started. He silently debated with himself for a minute or so before finally walking across the room to where Sydney and Weiss were standing.

"Hey," he said once he reached his destination.

"Hey," they both replied, smiling. But while Weiss's smile looked open and friendly, Sydney's was tentative and unsure. It broke his heart. The comfort he'd always felt with her was gone now, replaced with awkwardness and pain.

"How are you?" He asked, directing the question mostly at Sydney.

"I'm fine," she replied quickly, but not too quickly. It was obviously her standard answer to a question she'd been asked frequently in the past two months. "Are their any leads on Allison yet?"

Vaughn sighed. "Not that I know of. If there's anything, I'm sure Dixon will let us know," he replied.

"Yeah, you're probably-"

"Michael," Sydney was cut off by Lauren, who approached from behind Vaughn. Vaughn forced himself to smile, inwardly wincing at the fact that Lauren had cut Sydney off. He risked a quick glance at her just in time to see her eyes almost imperceptibly flicker to the floor before looking up at Lauren, an empty smile on her face. His heart broke a little more.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Lauren said as she positioned herself next to Vaughn.

"It's no problem," Sydney said, sounding just slightly too friendly.

"I just saw Dixon and he said he's ready for us if we want to head in there," Lauren told them.

Vaughn finally peeled his eyes away from Sydney and focused on his wife. "Sure, let's head in," he said, smiling at her. They proceeded to the briefing room in silence, Vaughn walking alongside Lauren, hoping that Weiss was beside Sydney… taking a place that once was his.

He found himself unable to concentrate on a word that Dixon was saying during the briefing. With Sydney sitting across from him, it was hard to focus on anything but her, though he mostly had to do so from the corner of his eye so that he at least appeared attentive. Sometimes it still shook him to see her sitting across from him. There were times when he still had to convince himself that she was real, that she was no longer a ghost. He was no longer the drunk and lost man that he had been a year and a half ago, speaking to a figment of his imagination, to a memory. Things were different now. And yet they weren't. Because no matter how alive she was, he'd still lost her.

When Dixon began to discuss an upcoming mission, Vaughn noticed Sydney discreetly massaging her temple with her fingertips. He knew that everything was still overwhelming for her. As far as he was concerned, she shouldn't be out in the field at all. She should still be recovering. Or better yet, she should get out. On the day when he was unselfish enough to think about putting her happiness over his need to spend time with her, he wished that she would forget about this life. With all she'd lost, what better a time to finally go off and be an English teacher somewhere peaceful and untouched by this world. When she was so obviously in pain, he could feel his desire for her happiness begin to outweigh his need to keep her in his life.

Somewhere deep inside him, he knew the reason for this. He was afraid. He was afraid that if she kept going like this, he would lose her all over again. One way or another, he knew it would be inevitable.

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"My accounts were finally unfrozen the other day. It took longer than I expected. Then again, I guess banks and credit card companies aren't used to their clients coming back from the dead. In the CIA, it's practically an every day occurrence. I guess that's part of what makes it hard. It's almost as if people think I should have been prepared for it because of the job. But nothing could prepare anyone for something like this. There's nothing more painful than waking up and realizing the whole world has gone on without you."

"Thank you, Amelia," the doctor said as Amelia trailed off in tears.

Sydney hadn't wanted to come back here. She didn't belong with this people. Her situation was different. But Dixon and Weiss has somehow managed to talk her into giving it another chance, constantly reminding her that these truly were the only people who understood what it was like to lose years of their life as if it were one night, one moment, one instant. These people knew what it was like to be presumed dead and return to find that their loved ones had built a new life that no longer included them. Though Sydney wasn't normally one for commiserating, it was somewhat comforting to hear other people feeling the same things she was, to know that she wasn't the only one who found it impossible to simply pick up and move on. How could she get on with her life when the life she was now living was completely foreign to her?

"James, how about you? What's been on your mind lately?" The doctor asked the middle-aged man seated beside Sydney.

He sighed. Sydney immediately empathized with his obvious weariness. "I've been back for almost six months now, but I still feel like a stranger in the world. I guess the thing that's been the most difficult lately is work. I just don't understand anymore why I'm working my ass off for a job that's done nothing but rip my life out from under me. When I joined, I was young and patriotic and eager to serve my country. Years later, I left the field so that I could settle down and take a safer job that would keep me close to my family. But I still felt as if I was serving my country and doing the right thing. And then they need me for one field op and suddenly I come back three years later to nothing. My life is nonexistent. And now I've got no one to support and no damn reason to do this job anymore. And the only thing that stops me from quitting is the fact that I don't know what the hell else I would do."

"Thank you for sharing that with us, James. And of course, you and I will discuss this in detail during our private session this week, alright?" The doctor looked to James for confirmation. He merely nodded. "Good." He turned his head slightly and looked directly at Sydney. She felt her whole body tense, knowing what was coming.

"Sydney," he began. "We're glad you decided to join us again. I understand that it hasn't been long since you've been back, but if there's anything you'd like to share with us, we'd love to hear it."

Sydney glanced to the ground helplessly before meeting the doctor's eyes. "I wouldn't even know where to start or how to put any of it into words," she explained apologetically.

"Well, why don't you just start with telling us about some of the differences between your life before and your life now?" The doctor suggested.

Sydney looked at him painfully for a moment before giving a slight nod of her head. She glanced down at her hands, attempting to brace herself for what she knew was about to come out of her mouth.

"I was a double agent inside one of the Alliance cells for a long time. That's actually how I came to be with the agency. Through that work, I grew very close to the man that acted as my handler. He quickly became the only person I could trust and confide in. About eighteen months before I was declared dead, I was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. The man in charge of the Alliance cell I was employed at subsequently made an attempt at my life and I was sent into hiding with this man. I grew very ill during that time and he was always there. He took care of me and our relationship soon became a romantic one. Meanwhile, huge advances were made in the takedown of the Alliance while we were in hiding. By the time the takedown was confirmed, I was already off all treatments. My prognosis was poor and I was only expected to live weeks beyond that time. Even after we were brought back home and we were safe, he stayed with me.

To make a long story short, I was miraculously cured of my illness and entered remission when everyone thought my battle was nearing the end. We pursued as normal a relationship as we could for the next several months. We were about to go away together for the first time when I disappeared. I was declared dead and I learned that he had had no reason to believe otherwise. He himself disappeared to another country for several months. When he eventually returned, he met someone. They dated and married. And then I returned. And now the three of us work together in the same office. And every day it's like a knife driving deeper and deeper into my chest. After surviving cancer, I'd finally had a happy life. I struggle every day to find some reason, some meaning as to why it was ripped away from me."

She took a deep breath, surprised that she'd actually spoken all that aloud to a room of people she hardly knew. She looked around at all of them, all looking sympathetically, even empathetically, at her. One woman had tears in her eyes. None of them said a word. She realized that for many of these people, the thought of dying had been inconceivable before many of them went missing and were presumed dead like she was. But for her, she had accepted the idea of dying, had faced it head-on long before her disappearance. She doubted most of them, if any, had experienced something like that. To go through so much pain only to be teased with true happiness before having it pulled out from under you. She had been given a second chance, the gift of life when she had been right at death's door, but for what? It was a question that haunted her every day.

"Thank you for sharing that, Sydney. I'm sure that you'll find many of us ask those same questions constantly. Is there anyone who's found something helpful when you start feeling overwhelmed by questions like that?" The doctor questioned, looking around the circle.

One older woman spoke up. "If I find myself getting too caught up in the past, in thinking about all that I wish I could still have, I force myself to try something new. I auditioned for a community theater group or planted a garden, things like that…"

She continued to talk, but Sydney began to drown her voice out. Nothing these people could tell her would help her. If she quit the CIA to try "new things" she'd not only lose the only chance at finding out what happened to her during her missing time, but she'd also lose her connection to the only people she was still close to. Her work was her life, even if it was part of what made her so unhappy. Obviously working with Lauren and Vaughn was going to be detrimental to her recovery, but she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. And there was certainly nothing these people could do about it. They could talk about moving on all they wanted, but it wasn't possible for her. They could give her support and they could empathize, but they couldn't give her what she truly needed.

They couldn't give her life back. No one could.

To be continued…

A/N: Ok, hope you like it so far. Not too much of a plot yet, but I gotta kind of set things up before I jump right into it. I promise it's coming soon (as in next chapter lol). This story is definitely looking to be a lengthy one, possibly as long as "This Tear." We'll see. Please review and let me know what you think! Oh, and the Red Sox reference, not only did I write that before they even made it to the ALCS (let alone won the World Series), but I had no idea that Jen was going to become a fan and go to the games with Ben. I'm so psyched! I've been a Sox fan for so long and this is truly the year to celebrate lol. GO SOX!!!

And happy holidays everyone!


	3. A New Journey

Title: Bumblebee

Author: SydGillyKC

A/N: Sorry this took a little while. New semester just started at school, I'm sure many of you know how it is. Moving all the way back across the country is never fun lol. But now I'm sitting here in pure summer-like weather while everyone at home is literally snowed-in. It's so weird. Anyway, this is kind of the part where the story dives into the plot. I hope you guys like it. I'm kind of nervous about posting this part, because I'm not sure how many of you really expected the story to go in this direction, but I promise I have a lot in store for you. I really hope you like it!

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Obviously working with Lauren and Vaughn was going to be detrimental to her recovery, but she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. And there was certainly nothing these people could do about it. They could talk about moving on all they wanted, but it wasn't possible for her. They could give her support and they could empathize, but they couldn't give her what she truly needed.

They couldn't give her life back. No one could.

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Chapter 2: A New Journey

It took only twenty minutes for her back to begin to protest against the uncomfortable plastic chair she sat in. Ignoring her discomfort, she focused on keeping herself awake and alert. She was in a private medical facility for a full work-up. It was something her father had set up. He thought it was a good idea for her to be checked out once a month for the first couple of months of being back. He had set it up with an old colleague from the agency who now owned a private clinic in Pasadena. Though Sydney thought the whole thing unnecessary, she had agreed to at least give it a try for her father's sake. This was her first visit. She doubted they'd find anything more than the CIA found in their thorough examination right after her return. And then she would convince her father that he was being over-cautious. She would be perfectly happy to never return here again.

The day of testing had completely drained her and she could hardly remember ever being so exhausted. Not only did it take a lot out of her physically, but the harsh reminder it gave her of her battle with cancer, a time that seemed not too long ago to her, was emotionally draining as well. And the fact that she came alone was no help. Of course she could have asked her father or Weiss to come with her, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She would've felt awkward with her father here and she hadn't wanted to take away Weiss's Saturday by making him sit in a clinic all day with her. It didn't much matter. There was only one person she truly wanted with her now, but that was no longer an option.

She'd gotten so used to doing so many things by herself since she came back. What was one more?

"Ms. Bristow." Sydney looked up to see an elderly nurse with a kind smile on her face. "The doctor is ready to review your results with you."

"Thank you," Sydney replied, pushing herself off the chair. She followed the nurse to his office.

She would later wonder, had she known what was coming, if she would have been better off running. Perhaps escaping this life altogether and traveling the world, not as a spy, but as a sight-seeing, soul-searching individual. But hindsight is a cruel thing, for she could not have known what was coming to her when she stepped inside that office. She hadn't had a single clue.

When she entered, she immediately noticed the doctor sitting at his desk. He politely stood and gestured for her to sit in the chair across from him. She turned, smiling her thanks to the nurse, and proceeded toward the seat. The nurse retreated, closing the door softly behind her, leaving Sydney alone with the doctor and his small manila folder. The doctor smiled at her, but the smile didn't quite reach his weary eyes. It was an expression Sydney knew all too well.

"Sydney, you know that your father and I were good friends in my days back at the agency, so this news is as hard to deliver as any," he began.

"So you found something, then?" Sydney questioned.

"We did," he replied, nodding somberly. He paused, opening his folder and pulling out what was clearly an x-ray. He stood up and turned, switching on the board on the wall behind his desk. He pushed the x-ray into the top of the board and Sydney immediately saw an image come to life. It was an incredibly familiar image by this time.

And with all her past experience, she knew exactly where to look.

There, on the image of her brain, was a dark mass.

"Based on your history, it wasn't hard to determine what it was," the doctor stated, pointing to the mass. "I'm afraid you're experiencing a relapse of your cancer. The tumor has returned and does appear to be growing again."

Everything spun around her. Nothing seemed real at the moment, everything was upside down. Black was white and white was black. Suddenly she felt as if she were right back in Hong Kong, sitting in front of Vaughn as he explained to her that she had been missing for two years. This couldn't be happening all over again. It had to be a nightmare, the ones so often discussed in the group. If there was a God, he wouldn't possibly put her through this all over again, not after all she'd recently been through. Not with everything that she was still dealing with. It absolutely could not be real.

But as she looked around her, in the small, cluttered doctor's office, a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach told her it was.

"How is this possible?" She asked weakly.

"Hard to say, really. Even after entering a complete remission, a patient isn't considered cured until five years after diagnosis. Even under the circumstances in which you entered remission, that's still the case," the doctor replied gently.

"But I was examined when I returned. The CIA put me through several days of tests," she argued.

"I know. And I've looked at your file and everything seems to check out. It appears that your illness was either too early to be detected or you truly weren't ill at that time. But there is no question that you are now. I'm sorry." He paused. "The good news is that we've caught it relatively early, earlier than the doctors caught it before. I'm not going to lie, brain tumors are tricky, but this definitely helps. I'd like to begin you on a treatment regimen straight away. Radiation and chemo, just like before. This time, though, I'm going to set you up as an outpatient straightaway. I can arrange it through one of the hospitals, if you wish. I'm assuming you'll want to discuss this with your father first, no doubt he'll have an opinion as to how to handle this. You can have some time to think about it of course, but the sooner you get started, the better," he explained. "Do you have any questions?"

The truth was, she had hundreds of them- _Why this? Why now? Why me?_- but none the doctor could actually provide answers to. "No, I understand," she forced herself to reply.

"Okay, I'll expect to hear from you soon then," the doctor said, getting up from his desk. Sydney rose from her seat as well and followed him to the door, which he opened for her. She was about to walk through it when she felt his hand on her shoulder. "I know this is difficult news," he said, "but we're going to get you through this. It won't be like last time."

She wanted to tell him that no, it certainly wouldn't be like last time. Last time she didn't have to worry about juggling work and being sick. Last time, she had a private doctor to supervise her treatments. Last time, she was in hiding in a small house in the mountains. Last time, she had the unconditional love and support of the man she loved.

Instead, she forced a small smile and thanked him before making her way out of the clinic.

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By the time she pulled into her apartment complex, she felt numb. She was vaguely aware of the tears that had been falling slowly, silently down her face since she'd started driving. She didn't make any attempt to sweep them away or fix her makeup before exiting the car. She simply didn't care. She slowly made her way up the stairs and to her apartment door. Shuffling through her purse, she looked for the keys. When she spotted them, she picked them up and moved to insert the key into the door. She stopped short, though, realizing that all that was waiting for her inside was a cold and empty apartment, one that still wasn't quite familiar to her. Looking to the left, she saw Weiss's door. Perhaps that's what she needed right now: someone to sit with her and help her figure out the shattered remains of her life. Hoping against hope that he had chosen to spend his Saturday relaxing at home, she returned her keys to her bag and walked the several feet to his door. She reached out and knocked softly.

There were about ten seconds of silence during which Sydney nearly gave up and walked back to her door. Before she could, though, she heard movement. Footsteps nearing the door. If she hadn't have felt as if the whole world were pressing down on her shoulders, she might have breathed a sigh of relief.

The door quickly opened to reveal a very relaxed looking Weiss in a T-shirt and sweats. Seeing her, he nearly smiled, but he obviously noticed the tearstains on her face and what she could only imagine was a very distressed appearance. His expression immediately turned to one of concern.

"What's wrong?" He questioned softly.

Sydney looked at him helplessly. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course," he replied, moving aside and gesturing for her to come in. She moved past him, entering the apartment. He closed the door behind her and then turned, moving closer to her. "Do you want to sit?" He asked, gesturing to the couch behind her.

"Sure," she replied, not really knowing what else to say. They both moved to the couch and sat. He angled himself so that he was facing her.

"This is the part where you tell me why you're crying," Weiss joked after a few moments of silence.

Sydney let out a soft chuckle through her tears, but it died quickly. Weiss reached out and touched her arm, causing her to finally look up and into his eyes, hers still brimming with tears. With the exception of the person sitting in front of her, she felt like she was right back in that warehouse, before her disappearance, when she was about to embark on this journey for the first time. Now she was right back at square one… minus the rest of her life.

"I, um," she hesitated, "I had a doctor's appointment today. My father set it up. He thought I should be checked out beyond the tests that the CIA ran on me when I came back… just to be safe."

Weiss nodded. "That was a good idea," he stated sincerely.

She took a deep breath. "The doctor found something in my x-rays, which, given my history, wasn't hard to diagnose." She paused, afraid to say the words out loud. It still didn't seem real.

"Syd, what did they find?" He questioned, though the look in his eyes told her that he already suspected what she was about to say.

"It's back, Eric… The tumor's back."

She watched as he allowed her words to sink in, his face registering shock mixed with sadness. Without speaking, he moved forward and gathered her into his arms. The whole experience was creating an unwanted sense of deja-vu. She wrapped her arms around his neck in an embrace born purely of friendship, but at the moment, was exactly what Sydney needed.

"I'm sorry, Syd," Weiss whispered into her ear before pulling back to look at her. "How bad is it?"

"The doctor said they caught it earlier than last time, so my chances are better. He said it's still tricky, but he was hopeful. He wanted to set me up on an outpatient treatment right away, but said I should speak to my father first," Sydney explained.

"Yeah, I'm sure Jack will have a say in all this. Have you spoken with him yet?" Weiss asked. Sydney shook her head silently. "Here, let me call him. We'll get him over here and figure this all out together, okay?" Sydney remained silent. "Syd?"

"Okay," she finally whispered. Weiss was beginning to worry that she was showing signs of shock. He reached out and touched her hand before getting up. Grabbing the portable phone, he was about to dial when he suddenly turned back to Sydney.

"Do you want me to tell him what's going on? Because I can just ask him to come over here if you want to be the one to tell him."

Sydney paused, then shook her head slowly. "I can't," she said softly.

"Okay," Weiss said gently. "That's fine, I'll do it. You just make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." He watched her for a moment before taking the phone and retreating to his bedroom.

Sydney heard him shut the door and she glanced toward it briefly, feeling guilty for making Weiss deal with her father, but repeating the news to him had been hard enough. She didn't think she could do it again, especially not to her father. She knew him too well. He would be angry, he'd question the diagnosis. She didn't have the energy for that right now. She barely had the energy to hold herself upright. With that thought, she allowed herself to shift on the couch so that she could lean her head on the cushioned armrest, curling up into a fetal position. Her eyes were swollen from crying, causing her lids to feel enormously heavy. Seeking any kind of relief she could, she allowed them to slip shut.

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"I know what I'm saying, Jack. And I know that Sydney stumbled into my apartment in tears twenty minutes ago," Weiss said into the phone, barely containing his frustration.

Jack paused. "Is she alright?"

"She's calmed down a bit, but she's practically in shock. She's completely overloaded. She's in no state to be making decisions right now about the course of her treatment, which is why I need you here," Weiss replied.

"I'm leaving now," Jack said before Weiss heard the click of the phone. Sighing, he hung up as well. Staring down at the phone, he realized there was one more phone call he had to make, but this one was going to be tricky. He turned the phone back on and dialed, taking a deep breath as he brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" A female voice answered after several rings.

"Lauren, hi, it's Eric. Is Mike there?"

"Hi, Eric. Yeah, he's right here. Hang on," Lauren replied as Weiss heard the phone shift. There was a brief moment of silence before a new voice came onto the phone.

"Hey, what's up?" Vaughn asked.

"Hey, Mike. Listen, I'm going to have to cancel on coming over to see the game today. Sorry, man, something sort of came up last minute," Weiss explained, just waiting for Vaughn to prod further as Weiss knew he would.

"Is everything okay?"

Weiss sighed, wishing he could tell his friend the truth. If there was one person who would've wanted to know what was going on right now, it was Vaughn. But Weiss knew it wasn't his place, especially not before Sydney and her father discussed how they wanted to proceed with the whole thing. He knew his only option was to lie to his friend, but that didn't make him feel any better about doing it.

"Yeah, everything's fine. There's just something I have to do," Weiss replied, cursing himself for not having come up with some sort of story before he called.

Weiss heard footsteps on the other end of the phone suddenly and realized that Vaughn was moving into a different room. He knew exactly what that meant.

"Is it Syd?"

Weiss sighed, not knowing how to answer that one. If he said no, Vaughn wasn't going to believe him. He figured there was only one way out of this one: the smallest possible glimpse of the truth. "She's not having a great day and I just want to stick around and make sure she's okay, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Vaughn replied softly, the weight his words carried lost on neither man. "Maybe next weekend, then… Just make sure she's alright."

"I will. I'll see you later, man," Weiss replied, about to hang up.

"Eric?" Vaughn asked, stopping him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," he said quietly. There was no explanation needed.

"Of course," Weiss replied.

"See you Monday."

"Yeah." And with that, they both hung up.

Weiss sighed and shook his head. Even he was having a hard time dealing with this situation. He didn't know how Sydney was still sane with all that she must be going through right now. She'd already been through so much. How was she going to get through this too? Having a cancerous brain tumor certainly wasn't going to make getting reacquainted with the world any easier. _Well_, he thought to himself,_ all that you can really do right now is be there for her and here you are staring off into space in your bedroom._ With that, he moved to the door and re-entered the living room.

The first thing he noticed was that the room was completely silent. For a moment, he thought she may have left and gone back to her own apartment. Taking a few steps toward the couch, though, he quickly saw that wasn't the case. Instead, Sydney was curled up on his couch, fast asleep. A sad smile crossed his face. She looked so peaceful, even with the dried tear-tracks that spanned her face. He felt a sudden surge of protectiveness over the woman in front of him. He knew he was finally getting a glimpse of why Vaughn went to the lengths he did to take care of her. Weiss vowed to do the same for her this time, especially since he was fairly sure Vaughn wouldn't be able to be at her side for this journey.

Moving to the couch, he grabbed an afghan that was folded over the top and shook it out softly. As gently as possible, he spread it out over her, relieved when she didn't wake. He decided to let her sleep until Jack arrived.

A few last moments of peace. Then they'd dive into this nightmare together.

To be continued…

A/N: Don't hate me! I just couldn't resist a chance like this. It came to me during the third season while I was still writing "This Tear" and I just couldn't pass it up. And trust me, I've got a real rollercoaster ride in store for you. And there's going to be MAJOR twists later on in the story. I really hope you're all up for the ride. What can I say? I'm an angst/sob-story writer and always will be . But please let me know what you think!


	4. A Plan

Title: Bumblebee

Author: SydGillyKC

A/N: Please see my important note at the end of this chapter!

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Moving to the couch, he grabbed an afghan that was folded over the top and shook it out softly. As gently as possible, he spread it out over her, relieved when she didn't wake. He decided to let her sleep until Jack arrived.

A few last moments of peace. Then they'd dive into this nightmare together.

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Chapter 3: A Plan

Sydney slowly drifted back into awareness when she felt a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Allowing her eyes to slowly drift open, she immediately had two realizations. First, that Weiss was the one waking her from her slumber. Second, that her head was pounding. And suddenly it all came flooding back. The doctor's office, driving home, coming to Weiss's in tears… the tumor

She looked up at Weiss and noted the sad smile on his face. "I thought you'd want to get somewhat oriented before your father got here. He should be here in a couple of minutes," he explained.

She sighed and nodded gratefully, pushing herself into a sitting position. She immediately regretted it when the pounding in her head grew more intense. She dropped her head into her hands, realizing she must've cried harder than she'd realized to create such a powerful headache. Logically, though, she knew that having a malignant tumor in her brain was also a likely cause. Suddenly, she felt Weiss's hand on her arm. She looked up and saw him holding a glass of water for her, while a bottle of Tylenol sat on his lap.

"I figured anyone would feel like shit after a morning like yours," Weiss explained.

Sydney smiled as best she could as she took the glass of water from him. "Thank you," she said, her voice rough. He waved off her thanks as he twisted open the top of the Tylenol bottle. Shaking two pills into his hand, he quickly handed them over to her. She placed them carefully in her mouth and swallowed them in one quick gulp, sipping the water for a moment afterward. Finally, she reached forward and set it down on the coffee table, looking back up at her friend.

"How'd he react?" She asked softly.

There was no need for Weiss to clarify who she meant, he already knew. "He was… well, he was Jack. He didn't want to believe me at first. He was somewhat angry. By now, I'm sure he's got everything all planned out."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing," Sydney stated.

Weiss sighed. "In this particular case, I'd say it's a good thing. No offense, Syd, but I think you could use a little help right about now."

"I know," Sydney replied, nodding. Weiss was surprised at her lack of argument. He had to remind himself, once again, of how much what she'd been through these past few months had changed her. She was no longer the same Sydney Bristow that she was when she battled this disease the first time.

Weiss's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Giving Sydney a reassuring look, he raised himself off of the couch and walked over to the door. Glancing through the peep-hole confirmed that it was indeed Jack Bristow on the other side of the door. Weiss opened it and stepped aside to allow Jack to enter the apartment.

"Jack, thanks for coming," Weiss said, gesturing the older man toward where Sydney sat on the couch.

Seeing his daughter clearly made Jack pause. Though she had pulled herself together somewhat and didn't look quite as distraught as when she originally showed up on Weiss's doorstep, she was obviously still overwhelmed by the whole situation. Her shield of armor that closely guarded what she truly felt inside was missing. For once, it was as if Weiss could literally see right through her. He sensed, by the visible softening of Jack's expression, that he saw the same.

"Dad," Sydney said softly as she stood.

"Sydney," Jack replied, moving toward her. Weiss watched as father and daughter embraced. He looked down, allowing them some semblance of privacy. He was relieved to see Jack actually acting like a father. He knew it was something that Sydney needed right now.

When Weiss looked back up, they had pulled apart. "We're going to figure this out," he heard Jack say. Jack then looked back at him. Weiss took that as his cue to join them. He walked over and sat next to Sydney on the couch, while Jack took the chair next to Sydney, angled so that he could face both of them.

"I spoke to Dr. Gage on my way over here," Jack begun. "I made sure he understood that this was to be kept quiet. He's agreed to administer your treatments at his facility, no records kept. He suggested a four-week cycle of chemotherapy followed by a cycle of radiation for the amount of time it takes your blood cell count to return to normal. He thinks it's the most effective course of treatment for now. He thinks surgery would be too risky. Now, the difficult part is going to be concealing this from the agency."

"And why are we concealing this from the agency?" Sydney asked, confused.

"Sydney, if the NSC were to find out about this, they'd only push for neurostimulation more than ever. If they find out that there was a tumor in your brain, threatening to destroy any memories you may have suppressed somehow, they will take drastic measures. And if, God forbid, the odds were to turn against you, I'm not entirely convinced that everyone in the agency would disagree with them," Jack explained somberly.

"Okay. That all makes sense, but Dad… I'm going to have to be going for treatments pretty frequently. How are we going to explain that to the agency? They're going to start to suspect something," Sydney pointed out.

"I realized that, too. Which is why we're going to tell Dixon the truth. Based on his reaction to learning about the security tape, I have every reason to believe he'll support us on this as well. And we're going to need his help."

"With what exactly?" Weiss asked.

"With fabricating medical records for Sydney and convincingly leaking them to the necessary parties," Jack replied.

"Medical records saying what?" Sydney questioned.

"Saying that you're suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder and that you're being treated with intensive therapy."

There was a brief silence as Sydney and Weiss took in what Jack was explaining to them. It wasn't long before Sydney slowly started to shake her head. "Dad-"

"Sydney," Jack said, cutting Sydney off. "I knew you weren't going to like this, but I've thought about it and it's the only thing I can come up with. It's the only thing that would be truly believable."

"He's right, Syd," Weiss suddenly cut in. Sydney looked at him, shocked. "Look, I hate it too, but after all that you've been through, no one's going to think twice when they hear PTSD. And your therapy would be privileged so no one will be the wiser."

"If Dixon feels it's a good idea, we may be able to get Dr. Barnett to help. She could set up a few random appointments with you just for appearances," Jack added.

Sydney took a deep breath and looked at the ground. "I've already had two years of my life taken from me, my friends," she paused, "Vaughn, my home, my memories, and now my health. I don't know if I can give up my sanity too."

"Syd, you'd still have your sanity," Weiss assured her.

"But not to my own colleagues," she argued, looking back up at him.

"No one's going to think less of you if they find out you've been diagnosed with PTSD. To be completely honest, I'm surprised you weren't truthfully diagnosed. You've been through hell, Syd. You're going through hell. This doesn't mean you're weak, that you can't handle more stress than ten other agents combined. And this certainly doesn't make you crazy. People are just going to see this as something the agency is making you do in order to keep tabs on your recovery," Weiss reasoned.

She sighed, her expression even more weary than when she first entered Weiss's apartment. "Well, it's not as if I have a choice in the matter. I guess it's the only way… I'll do it," she conceded, nodding.

"Good. Dr. Gage said he'd like to start your treatments in the next couple of days. I'll inform Dixon of this first thing Monday. I suggest you take the day off, it'll look more convincing. So you can schedule your first treatment with Dr. Gage then. From there, we'll just figure it out as we go," Jack told his daughter.

Sydney merely nodded, unable to look up at her father. Weiss glanced at her before meeting Jack's eyes. Weiss nodded at the older man, silently communicating that he would make sure Sydney was okay. Jack nodded back, once, and rose to his feet.

"I'm going to stop by the clinic and speak to Dr. Gage personally. I'll speak with you after I meet with Dixon on Monday," Jack said before turning for the door. Weiss stood up to show him out, but Jack waved him off. He watched Jack quickly let himself out. He then looked down at Sydney, whose eyes were still focused on the floor. Sighing, he dropped down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She didn't look up.

"What about Vaughn?" She asked suddenly.

"What about him?" Weiss questioned.

"He's going to know. He's going to figure it out."

"Possibly. But I'll do everything I can to convince him it's PTSD. He might just buy it," Weiss reasoned.

"He can't know, Eric. He can't find out. He has a new life now. I don't want to drag him through this again. I don't think either one of us could take it. If this gets bad, I want to leave. I want to go away. I don't want anyone to ever see me like that again," she said quietly, a tear sliding slowly down her cheek.

"Hey, hey. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. If you don't want Vaughn to know, then we'll just have to make sure he doesn't. As for the rest of it… we'll just cross each bridge as we come to it, okay? Take it one day at a time."

She sighed. "You're right. One day at a time."

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"Agent Vaughn, come on in," Dixon said from his desk, gesturing to the seat across from him.

Vaughn entered, shutting the door behind him. He quickly crossed the room and sat down. "Your secretary said that you wanted to discuss something with me, some new information."

"Yes, new information," Dixon confirmed.

"Is this concerning the mission? Shouldn't Sydney be here?" Vaughn asked, confused.

"Sydney took a personal day," Dixon explained. "Actually, that's why I called you in here. I wanted you to know that Sydney won't be accompanying you on this mission. I'm sending Weiss instead. He's already been briefed."

"Is everything okay?" Vaughn questioned immediately.

Dixon sighed. "I suppose you're going to find out eventually. I'd rather it be from me instead of in the hallway gossip. I want it clear that this is to be kept confidential, though. I'm only inclined to inform you now because of your relationship with Sydney." He paused, inwardly wincing at how much the word 'relationship' simplified the complicated mess that existed between these two people. "Sydney was diagnosed with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Her doctors are concerned. She's going to be treated, of course. I know that her frequent absences will spark rumors. I just wanted you to know the truth."

Dixon watched the emotion that played across Vaughn's face. Seeing the pain in the younger agent's eyes made him truly believe that lying to him was the right choice. Dixon didn't even want to imagine how Vaughn would've reacted had he been told the awful truth.

Clearly at a loss for words, Vaughn finally managed to speak up after a good minute of silence. "How bad is it?"

Dixon sighed, unsure of how to answer Vaughn's simple question. "We have every reason to hope that, once she gets the proper help, she'll be okay," he replied honestly.

Vaughn nodded. "You have my word, this will stay between us. I really appreciate you telling me."

Dixon could only nod back, trying to ignore the guilt he felt in his heart.

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Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Weiss quickly reached into his pocket with the other to silence the ringing cell phone. He silenced it immediately before taking it out and opening it, bringing it to his ear.

"Weiss," he answered.

"Eric, it's me," came Vaughn's reply.

"Mike, what's up?" Weiss asked, keeping his voice as soft as possible.

"We need to talk," Vaughn replied simply.

"About what?" Weiss questioned, playing dumb.

Vaughn sighed. "I think you know."

Weiss paused, glancing to his right where Sydney dozed silently, her head resting against the window. Her face looked as white as a sheet. "Okay," Weiss said finally. "But I can't right now. Can we do it tonight? Say eight o'clock at my place?"

"Yeah… Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you tonight," Vaughn said before Weiss heard the phone click. He hung up as well, stuffing the phone back in his pocket before glancing at Sydney to make sure he hadn't woken her. Her eyes were still closed and Weiss could only guess that she was still asleep.

Moments later, he pulled into the parking lot of their apartment building and parked the car in the closest space he could find. He turned the car off and looked over at Sydney. He hated having to wake her, but he knew what happened once the side affects kicked in and a car was not the place for that to occur. Sighing, he leaned toward Sydney and reached out to gently shake her shoulder. That did the trick. He watched her eyelids flutter open slowly as she reoriented herself.

"Morning, sunshine," he said softly. "We're home. Let's get you inside and then you can go back to sleep, okay?"

Sydney nodded slowly. "Yeah."

Weiss grabbed the keys from the ignition and got out. He rounded the car to open Sydney's door for her. He steadied her as she climbed out, wrapping his arm around her waist. With his other arm, he reached behind her to close the door. He looked down at her to make sure she was okay. She nodded at him and allowed him to help her make her way to the elevator. They rode up to the second floor and got out, walking toward her apartment. When they reached her door, she dug into her purse for the key.

"I got it from here, Eric," she said, sounding out of breath. "You can go home."

"Nice try, Syd, but did you really think you were going to get rid of me so easily?" Weiss asked.

"A girl can hope," she replied as she unlocked the door.

"Ouch, Syd. That hurts," he joked, clutching his chest.

She shook her head at him as she entered the apartment. Weiss followed closely behind, shutting the door behind him. "It's for your own good, trust me," she replied somberly as she dropped into the closest chair and leaned her head on her hand.

"Feeling sick already?" Weiss asked sympathetically.

She nodded. "A bit. Mostly just exhausted."

He walked up to her. "Well then, maybe we should get you into bed, huh?" He said lightly. He held out his hands to help her up. She took them, pulling herself to her feet.

"Are you really going to hang out here all day?" She asked him.

"Your TV's better," he teased, smiling.

She allowed a small smile to cross her face. "Thank you, Eric."

"No thanks needed. You go to bed and call me if you need anything. I mean it."

"Yes, sir," Sydney said in mock-seriousness before turning and heading toward her room.

Weiss allowed himself to watch her retreating form until she was safely in her room. He sighed and walked over to the couch. True to his word, he turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels. He flipped through the channels for a couple of minutes before finally settling on a _Friends_ repeat.

The episode was nearly over when Weiss heard a knock on the door. He eyed it curiously for a second before switching off the TV and rising from the couch. He made his way over to the door and checked the peephole. He was relieved to see Jack standing there and immediately opened the door.

"Jack," Weiss greeted. "Come on in." Jack entered silently as Weiss closed the door behind him. The two men faced each other somewhat awkwardly.

"I just came by to let you know that I spoke to Dixon today and everything is in place," Jack stated.

"Yeah, I got a call from Mike, so I figured things went as planned," Weiss replied.

"What did Vaughn want?" Jack asked.

"He said he wanted to talk. Don't worry, I know exactly what he's going to say and I know how to handle it. It won't be a problem," Weiss assured him.

"Good." Jack paused, glancing around room. "Did Sydney go for treatment today?"

"Yeah," Weiss replied, looking toward the floor. "She wasn't feeling great when we got back, so I sent her off to bed about a half-hour ago. She'll probably be up soon." The two men shared a knowing look. The only reason Weiss knew she would be up soon was because it wouldn't be much longer before she was sick.

"I'd better go then. She won't want me here for that," Jack stated solemnly. Weiss nodded, knowing Jack was right. Though he and Sydney had made progress in their relationship lately, he knew that they had a long way to go before Sydney felt comfortable with him taking care of her, seeing her at her weakest.

"I'll let her know that you stopped by," Weiss said as Jack headed back toward the door.

"Have her call me when she feels up to it."

"I will."

"Thank you," Jack said as he opened the door and left.

Weiss decided it was probably about time he check on Sydney. He quietly made his way down the hall and to her door. Not wanting to wake her if she was sleeping, he knocked very softly on the door, but received no response. Opening it slowly, he quickly noted that the covers were throwing haphazardly across the bed and Sydney was nowhere to be found. He took a step inside and noticed immediately that the bathroom door was cracked open and that the light was on. And then he heard coughing.

Gathering every bit of emotional strength he could, he raised his hand to knock on the door.

To be continued…

A/N: Okay, I know that update took a really really long time, and I really am sorry for it. I tried to get ahead in my writing so that I could always stay a chapter ahead in case something like this happened, but it just didn't work out. The Alias Marathons have consumed my life these past few months. I am running them entirely on my own this year and it's just a hell of a job. I love doing it, but it unfortunately takes my attention away from other things. My marathon is April 23rd (if you're in the LA area, PLEASE COME!) so things should calm down after that, though I do still have to do some work to make sure the other marathons all go smoothly. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out aliasmarathon(dotcom). It's for Juvenile Diabetes and it's oh so much fun! And on top of all that, I had strep throat again, we have initiation coming up for our new Theta members, school sucks, and I have a meeting with an agency next week (cross your fingers for me!). So anyway I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and, though I can't make any promises, I'll try to be better with updates.


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